Starting my second partial work week back from being off for almost two months and I can definitively now say
that work
is not a distraction.
It is merely a place
where I try to suspend the reality of the unimaginable loss.
I try to fool the mind
so that I am able to perform a few functions
in order to get some meaningless things done for others.
All the while, the pain builds and builds inside
to extreme levels of pressure, to the point of hyperventilation-
I am unable to breathe deeply from the dam’s walls bending and threatening to burst.
End of day arrives and the pain is released from its temporary hold
the horrors of reality return
and the endless tears from bottomless pain
flow once more.